Sunday, April 21, 2013

Seeing Your Faults Through Others' Eyes


I love me some social media. Probably a little too much. Between Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram and blogs, I'd say a lot of my free time is spent online. I've caught up with old high school friends and made new ones, and I feel like I've made lots of great connections. 


However, for the past 6 months, I feel people (mostly social media acquaintances, but a few friends too) pulling away from me. I've been UNFRIENDED on Facebook and Twitter. I feel like I'm being avoided or even worse-"tolerated". I'm like that girl in high school that walks into the cafeteria and her friends get up and leave when she goes to sit down next to them. You can feel the disconnect, but no one wants to talk about it.

When I ask these friends if I've done something, there's always an excuse. There's a glitch in Facebook or their Twitter account was deleted. Do I not deserve to get the truth? As much as I wish I didn't care and as tough as I want to be, it HURTS

I feel stupid and desperate for even putting this out there. But here goes......

Friends or social media friends, if I've offended or upset you, I am sincerely SORRY. I guess that my often strong opinions regarding politics, guns or religion have put a bad taste in some people's mouth. I can step back and see that now. Maybe it's something totally different. Maybe I'm crazy and paranoid. I doubt it though. I've seen enough comments to put 2 and 2 together.

I'm not asking for sympathy. I'm not trying to be passive-aggressive or dramatic. Not at all. I'll work on whatever is displeasing or offensive. I'm far from perfect and I know that.

I'm opening up my heart and being vulnerable. I'm not placing blame on anyone. I know that I need to move on from the unhealthy relationships. I'm just asking for those that I care about (and that care about me) to show me some GRACE. That's all. It's really tough to see your faults through others' eyes...


15 comments:

  1. I was so excited to see a post from you today in my reader--I've missed your posts & I've missed seeing you on Twitter. I'm sorry that this is your post today though. I hate that you are hurting. Friendships are hard--especially with women. We can really be catty bitches. I wish women would treat each other with more kindness, grace and mercy. We are all just trying to do our best. We really should be each others biggest cheerleaders and best support.

    Hope you get to feeling better soon. Please don't stay away so long again. :-)

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    1. Sara-thank you so much for reaching out to me here and on Twitter. I TRULY appreciate it!

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  2. Oh sweet D!! You are you! Beautiful, fiercely protective of your family, a wonderful momma, a fabulous friend. You are an incredible example to so many!

    I know it's SO tough when people don't like you or what you're saying BUT God made you, you and me, me. You have every right to share your opinions! We all do!!! We don't all have to agree on everything... What an utterly boring world that would be! Keep on keeping on sister! And if all else fails... in the wise words of LC... "Eff 'em and feed 'em fish heads"

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    1. Ha! Gawsh girl! I love you and your honesty. "Feed 'em fish heads!"

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  3. This resonated with me - it's so disappointing when you discover that someone with whom you've interacted regularly decides to unfollow you. I recently unsubscribed from all the follow/unfollow trackers, because I realized how silly it was to scour over my tweets to see what possibly could have offended someone. Just remember that your real friends will always like you for who you are, even if they disagree with your politics or religion or lifestyle, and if they feel truly offended they will talk to you about it!

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    1. Thanks. It's really hard because I try very hard to hold my tongue when I don't agree with friends/acquaintances. Especially if I can see they have a good heart and good intentions.

      Saying things like "popping a cap" is truly only meant as a joke. There's a woman behind those comments that is still very afraid and affected by being mugged and beaten. Maybe very few "get" me and my humor. Oops.

      So.... I'll still keep an open heart. I love getting to know people. I won't change that;-)

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  4. I always wonder why someone unfriends or unfollows me too, especially when it is someone I've interacted with and thought of quite highly. I've never asked because I'm too embarrassed, but I try to let it go and remember that there are cliques in all parts of life and just because someone chooses not to talk to me (literally or on the internet), I don't need to worry about it and can just move on. It's their loss!

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    1. Great point. I've stepped back the past day, and thought "WHY am I letting this bother me?". It comes down to the fact that I REALLY do care if I offend or hurt anyone. I need to get over the fact that not everyone is going to like me, and that's okay;-)

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  5. Sometimes social media feels like middle school for sure. I hate that sadness is the reason for posting, because it was lovely to see a post from your blog pop up!

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    1. Thanks girl! You're a sweetheart. It DOES feel like middle school. I'm too dang old for it too. haha

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  6. Oh, D! You're still one of my faves:) I've just been crazy busy with state testing and haven't been on twitter much as of late. Love you!!!!!

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    1. Thanks friend. You always say the most genuinely supportive words. Love you too boo!

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  7. I cannot thank you enough for this honest post, because, lets be frank, we as women feel this way a million times a day...at least I admit I have! I've loved you on twitter, blogger, facebook, etc since day one because you are a strong woman who tells it like it is and I follow others like you, regardless of their opinions, because I feel like your little snippits of daily life teach me, entertain me, and give me new insights. But I will admit, I have had an itchy delete finger one too many times for people I follow who I can tell are not being genuine on these social media sites..like they are acting overly snarky or bitchy or whiny just for the sake of being in the "social popular cool club." But you, my dear, are not one of them. :)

    So yeah, keep posting about your mac-daddy guinea pigs and gun totin' handbags. That's what I count on you for!!

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    1. You are wise beyond your years! Thank you for taking the time to comment. It means a lot that you shared your opinion.

      I agree.....I have learned a lot from my social media friends. Yes, I don't always agree, and yes, I delete, delete, delete too. It's just hurtful when you have no idea what you've done to "real life" friends online friends that you have connected with for years.

      Dying laughing at the mac-daddy guinea pigs and guns comment. Maybe that could be part of my obituary one day---- "She carried guns, pissed non-gun people off, and loved her some rats and pugs."

      Wow. I sound REALLY weird when I put it that way. haha

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  8. Hey girl! I am not around much anywhere (blogger fail, twitter fail...though I am still tearing up Pintrest!) but try and read when I get a minute. I miss ya and have always appreciated your honesty. xoxo

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