Saturday, January 21, 2012

Parenting With Love and Truth

I'm an '80s child. 
Well, born in the '70s, but remember more of the '80s.
I was raised WITHOUT a silver spoon in my mouth.
My family put things in "lay-a-way" and paid for them with hard-earned cash.

I was taught that just because you're born, the world owes you nothing. 
You work hard for what YOU want.

I was taught that life is not fair.
There are always people that have more than you.
But even more people will have less than you.

My parents were divorced.
I saw at an early age what a fearless woman looked like.
My mother did things for herself.
I saw my mother learn how to do the things my dad typically did.
She learned to change the oil in her car, make house repairs, and pay her own bills. 

With no help.
From a man, government, or other family members.
She told me it wasn't another person's fault or the government's problem that 
She and my father got a divorce. 
So why should they "fix" it?

All the while, my mother remained a parent to me.
She didn't rely on me to be a confidante or emotional crutch.
She showed tough love when she needed to....which was often.

I miss the days when parents and children weren't "buds". 
Parents are supposed to nurture, educate, and guide their children.
Parents are supposed to prepare their children for the world out there.
Even if it hurts a little.

I love this episode of "The Cosby Show". 
Cliff (the dad) is offering his son Theo some honest advice about life.
Even if it hurts a little.

*Make sure you watch until the 3:00 mark. 
Theo provides such a convincing argument, but Cliff provides even better parental advice.



  1. I absolutely love this post! I wasn't born with a silver spoon either. Everything I have was in part to handwork. My husband and I often talk about the fact that we give our kids too much. One day when a toy broke, their response was, "that is okay, we can go to the store and buy a new one." This really upset me. Did we really create that? The answer is yes. If I broke something as a kid - tough cookies. Things will be changing in our household, because the last thing I want are kids who are growing up to feel entitled!

    1. I SO agree. I've heard my girls say stuff like that and it made me cringe. Not too long ago, the girls said something that made them sound incredibly spoiled and self-entitled. I lost it. I told them that we could get rid of everything of theirs except a bed, pillow, and blanket. Then when they finally got something "extra", they would be so appreciative that they'd probably kiss my feet. haha

  2. Thank you for this post. It is refreshing to see another parent with this perspective!

  3. Thank the Lord for parents like you. In case your girls' teachers don't do it enough, THANK YOU from this teacher :) I get so tired of parents not making their kids take responsibility for their actions. I realize that I don't have kids of my own and will view things differently when I do, but my students will have to work and earn everything without my holding their hand!

  4. You know lady you are so right! I am a teacher, and I think about this ALL the time. Parents nowadays just give in to their children versus making them work for it. Therefore they expect it and feel they are "deserved" of it. They have such a sense of entitlement that I have never had. I didn't "expect" anything. If I wanted something, I had to work for it. Often my students are like YOU gave me a D. I'm like "No, YOU EARNED that D."

  5. thru out the years you have continued to be a voice of Truth for me D--I love this post -I love your openness adn transparency-thanks D

  6. Amen girl! I could swear some days we share a brain.

  7. I remember that episode - God I loved Cosby show!! I got a bit distracted imagining a Manhattan apartment for $400 a month, but you're totally right. I think parents spend SO much time trying to make their kids "happy" and like them, that they forget they are supposed to be raising them to be self sufficient, responsible adults. Instead they are raising a bunch of spoiled, self entitled monsters who don't value anything. Such a shame. I had a similar childhood as yours, and my mom would never put up with the crap I see these kids getting away with.