It Would Be Easier To Pray if I Were Clear

This is a prayer that our pastor read at closing this past weekend. We’ve been studying the fruits of the Spirit, and we’re currently on the topic of “gentleness”. This is something I struggle with, especially when I’m stressed. I need to work on my attitude when I speak to my family and those around me. I want to be remembered as gentle, not angry or impatient.

Take the time to read through this prayer. It’s such an honest prayer.  A lot of times when I pray, I’m not really honest with myself or God.  I pray that this speaks to you as it did me.

“It Would Be Easier To Pray if I Were Clear”

O Eternal One,
it would be easier for me to pray
if I were clear
and of single mind and pure heart;
if I could be done hiding from myself
and from you, even in my prayers.
But, I am who I am,
mixture of motives and excuses,
blur of memories,
quiver of hopes,
knot of fear,
tangle of confusion,
and restless with love,
for love.
I wander somewhere between
gratitude and grievance,
wonder and routine,
high resolve and undone dreams,
generous impulses and unpaid bills.
Come, find me, Lord.
Be with me exactly as I am.
Help me find me, Lord.
Help me accept what I am,
so I can begin to be yours.
Make me something small enough to snuggle,
young enough to question,
simple enough to giggle,
old enough to forget,
foolish enough to act for peace;
skeptical enough to doubt
the sufficiency of anything but you,
and attentive enough to listen
as you call me out of the tomb of my timidity
into the chancy glory of my possibilities
and the power of your presence.

Guerrillas of Grace – Prayers for the Battle by Ted Loder